I contributed this (humorous, I hope) little bit of pron to this year’s HP Rarepairs Cliché Fest on LiveJournal. The clichés I selected were Polyjuice!fic, Hogwarts professors (naturally), and gender!switch.
The ever -wonderful Kelly Chambliss was my beta.
Characters: Severus Snape, Minerva McGonagall
Summary: Severus brews some extra Polyjuice and plays a trick on Minerva. Amorous hijinks ensue.
Word count: 4,957
Warnings: Professors getting it on. Multiple pairings (sort of): f/m, f/f, m/m. Maybe some crackiness around the edges. Oh, and non-con, in a way.
“What are you doing?”
She turned to him, eyebrows raised. “Since you’ve effectively scuttled my intention to win back last week’s House points through the inventive use of various orifices—bravo, by the way—I thought I might try another tack.”
“I don’t see why.”
She stood blinking for a few moments, and when her shoulders squared, he knew he had her. With Minerva, there was no surer aphrodisiac than debate.
She said, “Quite aside from the ethical considerations, I believe I’ve already told you: while I adore Albus Dumbledore in any number of no-doubt inappropriate ways, I have no desire to shag him.”
“But you wouldn’t be shagging Albus, you’d be shagging me.”
“Using Albus’s body.”
“It isn’t really his body. It just looks like it.”
“It is morphologically the same. Polyjuice produces an exact replica.”
“Aha! Replica. Last I checked, a replica wasn’t the actual item.”
She waved a dismissive hand. “Semantics. Although the original still exists, your body is now, cell-for-cell, the same as Albus’s. In my book, that makes it his body. Just as if I made a magical copy of your last article for European Potions Review. You would surely object if I then decided to publish my copy in The Practical Potioneer.”
“Of course. That paper was far too good for them. And I think you’re mistaking Potions with your field. You need to get out of your ivory tower. I haven’t been changed into Albus, whatever you say about cells. My mind is still my own, and so are the cells it controls.”